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Week 3 Questions & Discussion

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    • #2151

      ***What stood out for you most in this week’s reading?***

      1. Post a 150+ word Weekly Reading Summary
      2. Post a 50+ word reply to 2 other learners
      3. Post all of your questions and answers here regarding the reading material for the week.
    • #6896

      Hi, Coaches!!   I guess I’ll kick off the forum this week.  I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend!!  🙂

      It’s funny how this week’s reading assignment started off answering the very question that I asked during last week’s group conference call! My question was along the lines of asking for a coaching checklist so that I could hold myself accountable. Dr. Collins said it best when he stated that “coaching cookbooks ” simply do not exist. He reiterated how each client is different, therefore, each situation and conversation will be different. So, while there are basic examples on the coaching patterns and sample questions to help us to help the client… I have to lose that rigid idea of formality. Stop thinking like a corporate training “robot” in which each step is perfectly outlined. An excellent reminder for myself of the differences between consulting and coaching.
      This week’s reading also brought to remembrance the different styles of listening and helped me understand how each are suited to coaching clients. What stood out for me in this section is the mention of “obstacles ” in listening. Admittedly, I am guilty of all of them, with the number one culprit in my personal conversations being “distractions”.  On a business perspective, I would say the number one obstacle would be “thinking about the next question” and if I may add one to the list, I have a bad habit of “knowing ” what the client wants to ask or say before they finish their thought and I am already responding without hearing the entire scenario.  Of course I’m not always right and could have saved time had I just stopped and listened rather than ‘predicting’ what the client wanted.
      Further in the reading, I noticed that the question examples given this week seem to be increasingly thought provoking. I asked myself how would I answer these and for most of them, I my response was “pass…next question please”!  I would much rather focus on others rather than myself …I’m working on that.
      In summary, I cannot leave out my most hightlighted section and what really caught my attention..which was the section on leading our clients to their vision.  “Where Do We Want To Go?” And “How Do We Get There?” seem to be the questions that I internally struggle with myself from time to time as I continue to grow and meet my set goals. I am quickly learning that my clients will fertilize my growth just as I intend to do for them.

      • #6900

        KaMyka Glenn
        Participant

        Kim, great summary and insight. It appears your journey to self- discovery is off to a wonderful start:-)

        I too, loved reading the types of questions and question examples. It reminds me to remain focused on asking those thought provoking questions or comments to initiate full discovery and reflection for my client. I think I listen well and ask good questions that are challenging but I believe that I can go deeper. With everything its a learning process and it will take time. I agree with you that as much as we are coaching our clients that we will learn from them (or the time spent with them) in the process. As a teacher, I always say that I am forever learning and there are times when my students teach me. With that being said, I never put myself too high that I am not willing or able to learn from my students when the opportunity arises.

        • #6907

          Luberta Lytle
          Participant

          Kim,

          Yes I agree with you regarding always having the answer when the question is presented to me.  This is something that I have to work on because I have a tendency to answer the question before the person is actually done talking.  I have a tendency to get impatient in waiting for the person to finish talking.  I have come a long way in this matter. My personality is always wanting to fix the come up with a solution and fix the problem so we can move on to the next situation. It has been a struggle but I’m getting better with this situation.

    • #6897

      I’m not sure if I told you guys that I LOVE THIS BOOK…but I LOVE THIS BOOK!!!

      This week’s reading was very insightful and informative for me!!!  As much as I know about the importance of asking powerful questions, I had an ah ha moment when Dr. Collins stated that questions that start with ‘Why’ requires the client to be analytical…and they could also at times come off as interrogative.  I know this to be true in dealing with my students…if they at times get defensive or like they are being blamed for something or may be wrong, what makes me think my clients will feel differently.  (Very EYE OPENING for me)

      I also love how Dr. Collins incorporates the parables of Jesus in his examples.  As a minister of the gospel, I definitely read the story until I see the story, but this book is also forcing me to look at the parables in a different like…more so focusing on Jesus’s approach and techniques!!!  It’s funny because I really NEVER looked at Jesus as a coach, but WOW, He is!!!

      I also was very thankful for the list of questions…no matter how many times I do this, it seems like when I have to be ‘on’, all the questions I know to ask go right out of the window, so having this list right here at my fingertips is and has been very helpful for me

      • #6898

        Kimberly,

        It’s funny that you mentioned the diagram on pages 116-117.  Often times I find myself asking myself those same questions.  Most times I feel like I know what I want, where I want to go, etc…but then there are times when I feel so unsure.  During last week’s assignment where we had to ask someone certain questions pertaining to us and how we may be as counselors.  It also made me think back to my intro packet, because one of the things stated that was consistent was an answer to the question what gets in the way…and that answer was ME…I GET IN MY OWN WAY…not because of arrogance or cockiness, but more so because I second guess myself and when I don’t feel confident about something I need to do or want to accomplish at times I will talk myself out of why I can’t, won’t, shouldn’t, etc…yea, this journey has caused me to self reflect more

        • #6977

          Me too, Coach !  I completely agree that I am truly enjoying this book.  If only I had a photographic memory to be able to recall every thing listed!!

          Seriously though, the insight is profound and (for me anyways) outside of the box.  The parables are great examples and I sincerely appreciate how this book references bible.  I have a new appreciation for Jesus as a ‘coach’ among all other things.

      • #6899

        Kimberly,

        It’s funny that you mentioned the diagram on pages 116-117.  Often times I find myself asking myself those same questions.  Most times I feel like I know what I want, where I want to go, etc…but then there are times when I feel so unsure.  During last week’s assignment where we had to ask someone certain questions pertaining to us and how we may be as counselors.  It also made me think back to my intro packet, because one of the things stated that was consistent was an answer to the question what gets in the way…and that answer was ME…I GET IN MY OWN WAY…not because of arrogance or cockiness, but more so because I second guess myself and when I don’t feel confident about something I need to do or want to accomplish at times I will talk myself out of why I can’t, won’t, shouldn’t, etc…yea, this journey has caused me to self reflect

      • #6901

        KaMyka Glenn
        Participant

        Na’khia… I too am loving this book. I am big on improving myself and finding different ways to approach things and people even if it is only in communication. For instance, I watch marriage boot camp because I love the exercises/ activities and what they teach you about communication and listen to others. I take the exercises or lessons learned and use them in my personal life, work relationships, and more. Therefore, this book has become yet another tool for me to use in the same manner.

        I also had to be reminded about the “why” questions and try my best to focus on not using them. I used it in a section this weekend and quickly re-worded the question taking out the word “why.” So for me that is a reminder and in the forefront of my mind in my approach for coaching.

        I LOVE the parables as well because it is outline the perspective and approach of Jesus rather than the action of the person. When I took a discipleship class a couple of years ago as I embarked on my “ME” journey, I remember that as we went through the different stories in the bible the things that stood out to me most was Jesus’ approach and how people (Ruth, Naomi, the prostitute, etc) interacted with others in spite of how they were treated by the very people that they helped or how they responded when God presented them with an opportunity to be a vessel for his kingdom.  AN AWESOME REVELATION and SELF REFLECTION.

        • #6978

          “ME” all day long as well.  These past few weeks have been a tremendous help in allowing me to navigate through my own self perception.  I came into the class with a broad vision of what I wanted to do with the coaching certification, but now ( 6 weeks later) I am able to pinpoint exactly which direction to go in.  Thank you for sharing and allowing me to see that I am not alone!

      • #6902

        kamyka,

        that is so true.  we should always be open to learning new things from whomever the Lord uses to teach us.  I think so many times we (people in general) would rather lack knowledge and receiving information because of the package it is delivered in…but even the bible the people perish for lack of knowledge.  Most times when you are engaged and on a journey with others you tend to learn from each other…and i’m sure there will be times when we all will benefit from something that our clients may say or do.

    • #6903

      KaMyka Glenn
      Participant

      This week’s reading was very insightand put some techniques into perspective for me such as not asking WHY questions, how to listen, what to look for, helpful ways to respond, as well as what types of questions to ask that will engage the client in a stimulating and thought provoking process. The HEAR acronym allows me to remain focus on what I am looking and listening for in order to get the most from out of my client and be an effective coach for them. I believe this will help me to my clients in the best possible way.

      The Christian coach model helped to put a strategy/ step in place of how to look at coaching. I think this will be very useful in how I can structure my sessions. It affirmed how be self -awareness is and how much of a role it plays as the coach and the client.

      I LOVED the quote “Look less at the mountain and more at the mountain- mover.” This speaks volumes and goes along with my mantra/ motto that I use when I get discouraged or stuck when building and moving forward with my company.

      • #6906

        Luberta Lytle
        Participant

        Na’Khia,

        I agree with you comment.  I feel that we are never too smart or old to learn something.  Coaches should be open and realize that through their clients that could possible learn something about themselves.   It is a good thing, they we could benefit our clients and they can benefit us too.

    • #6912

      Meochia Clayton
      Participant

      This week’s reading was very helpful, especially since it’s helping me become more mindful of my listening skills.   As I speak with my clients on my job, I am making an extra effort to become a more active listening.  I think that’s a skill that I haven’t developed throughout the years because I get so used to hearing the same conversations that I based started tuning my clients out.  By no means am I trying to disrespect anyone, it’s just when you work for a program providing benefits you tend to know how the conversation is going to take place.  This also happens during multi-tasking, I have gotten used to performing more than one task at a time during the majority of my day, and not listening has become a habit.  The author states listening can be demanding work because the listener’s mind has to be active and focused enough to absorb the content and implications of what the client is communicating.  Based on what I learned from this chapter, I am going to work harder on listening actively and try to decrease distractions, don’t think about what is going to be discussed next, and to relax and take my time when communicating.

      • #7417

        Anonymous
        Inactive

        Coach Clayton,
        I agree with the repetition of conversation. I am guilty as well and this book has pointed out some of my most weak areas that I intend on working diligently to conquer. I believe those that trust us enough to open up deserves our utmost undivided listening ear. I am already practicing it.

    • #6913

      Meochia Clayton
      Participant

      Out of this chapter, I learned about discovery questions.  Personally, I feel will provide a smoother introduction that will lead into a more productive coaching relationship.  I have started identifying discovery questions that I would like to use, which will be tailored according to the specific need of the client.  I was speaking with a buddy regarding weight loss and fitness goals, which isn’t my niche; however, it is something that peaks my interest.  Based on the information that I gained from the book, I was able to ask several questions that provided me with her weight loss goals (short-term and long-term), particular plan that she is following, what she has done in the past and whether it helped, how she’s tracking her progress, where she sees herself in 6 months, and the purpose of her desire to lose weight and achieve a better fitness level.  The discovery questions were very helpful for me.

      • #6979

        I love the discovery questions as well, Coach Meochia.  I need them placed into a magic 8 ball that I can use at each session.

    • #7138

      Coach D Nicole!
      Keymaster

      <This week’s reading was very good. Chapter 6 Listening, Questioning and Responding in my opinion are very important to coaching.  One statement made in this reading was that “Every person is different and so is every coaching situation”. I 100% agree with that, as I continue to learn more and more about life coaching, I’m seeing that there are many different situations that we as coaches will encounter.
      In regards to listening, I truly believe that in coaching we need to have the ability to be a great listener, so that we can get the understanding of the clients needs and ask the right questions. In this way as coaches we will be able to encourage and help the client to their end results.

      The questioning was my favorite part of the read, because I really wanted to make sure I understood the ins and outs of a good questions, bad question, wrong question…  In several of my first buddy sessions I was asking Suggestive questions and closed ended questions and I was striving to make sure I corrected that and asked open ended questions. So this chapter really further helped me to understand the type of questions to ask along with listening and knowing how to respond. This read also pointed out one of the things I found myself doing in of my sessions, which was paying partial attention and being concerned about the next question to ask to next.  This was a very helpful chapter for me.</p>

      • #7142

        Anonymous
        Inactive

        Yes Tomika I agree… This was really 2 good chapters that I believe will help us to be better coaches.

      • #7418

        Anonymous
        Inactive

        Coach Rodall, just today I did a session with another coach that allowed me to understand how important it is to ask strong powerful questions as well. It was enlighten in this chapter to understand and it all made since. I am working now on my questions and how asking the strong questions would allow the clients to come to their own solutions when answering.

    • #7139

      Coach D Nicole!
      Keymaster

      Chapter 7.
      This chapter was very interesting. The Christian coaching model definitely made me wonder how it all applied to me. I actually took time to think about my vision, what obstacles stood in my way and what action am I going to take to get there. I rather understand myself before I try to help or apply this to others. It took me some time to figure out my vision and even to follow through with my vision. With much prayer and mentoring, I am now working on my vision while still trusting God.
      One of the most important things stated in this text was that everything revolves around Jesus Christ! Yes, Jesus is at the center of it all. I am only but a vessel being used by him. Believing, trusting and standing God’s word to assist me with the training and knowledge to be a Christian life coach.
      How else would we be able to battle this journey without Jesus?

    • #7140

      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Hello everyone!

      The things in this weeks reading that stuck out and I want to stick with me is knowing that I don’t have to have all the answers, just ask the RIGHT question(s), and then most all listen to the clients answers with full understanding.

      When we listen to understand and not just to reply to someone, it gives them a level a confidence in speaking with you, sharing their thoughts or dreams, and so much more. It’s says to them, “I am interested in what you have to say, interested in listening to whatever it is you want to talk about.”

      People want to feel important, we don’t always have a problem to solve, just giving someone a chance to figure out the direction in which they need to go to accomplish “xyz.”

      • #7143

        Anonymous
        Inactive

        That is so true Lady shonnika remember that coaching is about the client getting from where they are to where they want to be should be our focus

    • #7141

      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I really enjoyed this week’s reading. It was very helpful to develop my coaching skills. I believe I need to practice my listening skills, so I appreciate the breakdown of types of listening and what blocks our listening. I enjoy asking questions and researching different powerful questions I could ask to help them get clear on their issues.

      I took note of the coaching model: awareness (analyzing where they are), vision (outlining where they want to be), strategy (how to get them to where they want to be) and obstacles (identifying what would get in their way). The most awesome part of Christian coaching for me is that Jesus Christ is the center of everything we do.

       

       

    • #7144

      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Hello ladies< I trust you all are well. If I am to be completely honest, chapter 6 challenged me. It challenged me to question my interactions, not just with clients but with those I love and to assess how effective and invested I am in the listening process. Sometimes we miss opportunities for growth by talking when someone’s mannerisms, posture or line of reasoning is screaming something different than what they are verbalizing. I am definitely challenged to strive toward intuitive listening.

    • #7151

      Anonymous
      Inactive

      I didn’t get a chance to comment on my chapter  7 views so here goes…

      The thing that I focused on the most was the Coaching Models that were illustrated in ch 7. I believe that the most wonderful thing to me in this line of work, embarking on this journey is the fact that Christ is at the center of it all, if for no one else that we may encounter it is that for us. Coaching is all about guidance and direction, the very thing that Jesus is to believers. He is the way, the truth and the life. He is the light of the world! All of these things equal guidance and direction. So the model was my guide even in reading this chapter and preparing for the chapters ahead in the book and in life.

      • #7152

        Coach D Nicole!
        Keymaster

        Yess. I so agree with you. With Jesus being at the center that is the most wonderful thing!!

    • #7215

      Mojo81
      Participant

      Who would’ve thought there were so many different types of listening? I sure didn’t. How we listening determines what we actually receive and perceive. Sometimes listening is hearing what is not being said. Being an attentive listener requires you to be patient. Being patient allows you to hear what is truly being said. Sometimes the issues are all you hear first and the patience you possess allows hear the last words in an hour long conversation. People desire to be heard and listened to. Because it has become a rare act of kindness it is desired even more and appreciated even more. Its like walking pass someone and asking “how’s your day going?” but continuing to walk away because you assumed the reply was good. No one usually listens to the end. I am guilty before taking this class I had a bad habit of listening to fix, versus just simply listening to allow the person to be heard. Its by far not a lesson I’ve mastered, however I am getting better than I was before and for that I am grateful.

      Seeing the models reminded me of a question that was asked: If it was you, God, and your client in the car, who would sit where and why? At first I started with God as the driver, the client in the passenger seat, and me in the back seat. Then after thinking about it I felt like the client would be in the driver seat, me in the passenger seat, and God in the back seat. My theory on my change is that theoretically it is the clients responsibility to get to set goals or destination, my job is to assist as needed providing GPS instructions to avoid distractions and detours, and God is in the back with the ability to whisper in both of our ears to remind, encourage, chastise, and speak. Then with God in the midst and us being in agreement, we’re guaranteed to reach our destination regardless of what we may face.

    • #7229

      Anonymous
      Inactive

      The assignment for this week is to assess our comfort level and that of our peer partner during sessions. This was an area I wanted to be more confident in and after the feedback I can say that I am even more comfortable in one on one coaching sessions. I was pleased to know that my client was comfortable and that our session was helpful. The lessons from chapter 6 were very instrumental in helping me to further grasp the importance of active listening. I recognize that I had an issue before with distractions while listening but it’s something I have been actively working on. It’s evidence that a commitment to learn and grow pays off.

      I am continually aiming for intuitive listening, which as it states in our textbook means that we are fully concentrating and aware of what the client is saying. So many times in conversations with our friends and loved ones we miss out on their implications and respond to what we hear or what manages to grab our attention when we finally do tune in. I love coaching, I enjoy guiding clients along their journey and I love  learning how to maximize this particular gifting.

    • #7416

      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Week 3’s lesson: gave insight on what I consider to be 3 important tools, listening, questioning and responding. Learning this week allows me to know every person needs an attentive listener and to see the four parts of coaching: is getting an understanding of where each client is while focusing on what they want in the future. Helping them find ways to get there while overcoming obstacles. Listening attentively is a major factor while coaching. People get bigger and better when they know someone is listening. Listening will also help you see where they are and better aide your clients to digging themselves out of their rut. Informal listening happens during normal conversation. It’s a part of being attentive. Active listening requires us to concentrate on what is being said, pay close attention. A higher level of concentration is called Intuitive listening.
      As a coach we are to aid the clients in becoming aware of where they are, where the want to be, and how did they get there. Awareness is imperative, it is a tool aiding client to see where they are and take a look at their vision, and act on how they get to the point of where they want to be.

    • #7682

      Elizabeth Howze
      Participant

      This week’s reading really tapped into a lot of the training I’ve received in counseling and therapy. Although many of the skills were familiar, it’s still a struggle for me to use them in a way that doesn’t lead to problem solving or trying to find root causes. There are two obstacles to listening that really resonated with me on pg. 104. The first is, thinking about the next question and the second is that I often go looking for problems, pathology, and past experiences that are creating present difficulties. Concerning the first, I’m forcing myself to become more comfortable with silence and allowing the client to move/lead the conversation forward in a way that aligns with the 80/20 ration discussed on pg. 105. Concerning the second obstacle, I believe it will take some time, practice, and conscious efforts on my end to avoid counseling mode and shift into a coaching mindset instead. The author talks about his own experience with this on pg. 13 where he says, “we need to lay aside some old habits when we become coaches”.  One place of confusion for me was found on pages 106 and 107. The author cautions us to refrain from asking “why” questions because they encourage analytical thinking but on the other hand, we are encouraged to ask powerful questions that are thought-provoking and that will stimulate fresh thinking causing the client to stop and think. It sounded somewhat contradictory to me. Thoughts?

    • #7685

      Lindsay Weston
      Participant

      What stood out to me this in this week’s reading was p 118 Awareness: Where are we now? Becoming aware of the present. The business owner wanted coaching because his business was at stand still, sales were low and he could not keep employees.  After previously hiring consultants their recommendations did not work because the business owner tried to initiate ideas that were not his own. The business owner hires a coach who had no knowledge of how to grow a company, however, through observation, questions and listening she was able to understand that the company wasn’t growing because of the business owners controlling personality.  Once the coach helped him see that he was the main factor in the company’s lack of performance. He began to change and the company started to grow. It amazes me that by coaching you are able to see things in people who do not see it in themselves, get them to be aware of it and how it could currently be an issue. Also, that a coach does not have to know how to grow the business, run the church or fly the aircraft. By listening and asking questions the coach was able to see that the business owner created his company’s issues.

    • #7686

      Latoya Brown
      Participant

      In this weeks reading, i read about listening, questioning and responding. Collins dove into various types of listening and i was amazed as it triggered into think of what type of listener am I? It also gave me some great insight on what I need to do as a coach. Then on to the questions portion there were some very powerful nuggets i took away that will help me as a life coach. The questions were very intriguing it had me asking myself those very questions and boy they will definitely make you think. So as a coach it is very important that you ask powerful questions. Finally, he talked talked about responses that can be verbal and even your body language if you’re having a face to face session. As a coach we are to encourage and provide feedback to our clients. When I saw encouragement , I was excited because I love to encourage people. Responding is also about brainstorming, debriefing the requesting your clients to come up with things they want and we are to help then get there.  What stood out to me in Chapter 7 was the coaching model  there were 4 parts of it but what I saw immediately was that Jesus was the center of the model. As a Christian Coach Jesus has to be center of it all. I am ready to learn more about how this model is used.

    • #7687

      Latasha Lunford
      Participant

      The first few chapters in this book discusses the foundation of Christian Coaching. This week’s reading has vital information that begins the client/coach relationship in listening, questioning, and responding. Listening, questioning, and responding effectively are the motor skills that brings the clients in and keeps the clients from going out. They are the skills that allow coaches to H.E.A.R. their clients. A wise coach once told me to use this acronym W.A.I.T. as a reminder to take the focus off of me and allow my client to do most of the talking. The coach advised me to ask myself….Why…Am…I…Talking?…Coaches should talk about 20% of the conversation and the client should talk about 80%. The actual meaning of W.A.I.T. was hilarious to hear but at the same time it was ingrained in my mental from that moment on. During my coaching sessions with my peers from this course, I have realized that I have been trying too hard in my coaching conversations. I felt that my conversations were not natural and it felt rushed. I was so focused on what should I say next that I couldn’t hear my client’s responses effectively. I am SO glad that this week’s reading suggests thought provoking questions and responses before, during, and after the sessions. Our mission as Christian Life Coaches are to lead our clients to discover their own plan, purpose, and position in life with biblical principles and our guidance through active listening, asking powerful questions, and providing intentional yet effective responses.

    • #7688

      Lisa
      Participant

      <p class=”MsoNormal”><span style=”font-family: ‘Georgia’,serif; color: #333333; background: white;”>I found this week’s reading was very enlightening for me and this journey I’m on.<span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”>  </span>In my current profession my job requires that I have a structured clear, concise plan to action and move forth in my area of responsibilities. The reading of these two chapters gave me more clarity and guidance on not only what coaching is but provided the “structure” of understanding the overall impact, vision and unique outcome of the entire process.<span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”>  </span>There were many segments that hit home for me one being the author breaking down the 4-parts that coaching reduces to.<span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”>  </span>1. Getting an understanding of where each person is at present 2. Focusing on what he or she wants in the future. 3. Finding a way to get there. 3. Overcoming obstacles that get in the way.<span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”>  </span>These four pointers provided the mental roadmap I need to have great understanding and impact on how I can/will build a successful and empowering relationship with my clients.<span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”>  </span>Interlinking the above by defining the 3 PRIME important skills (Listening, Asking powerful questions and Responding) the 3 Kinds of listening skills (Informal, Active, Intuitive) and the H.E.A.R acronym is imperative in strengthening my overall process and client relationship. <span style=”mso-spacerun: yes;”> </span>I absolutely will engrain the coaching models into my brain, using the example of Jesus and how he so perfectly implemented the “Basic Christian Coaching Model in his daily teaches with his disciples and interactions with people provided validity as to why I must at all-time keep him at the center of this entire process, journey and mission. </span></p>

    • #7689

      Lisa
      Participant

      @Coach Latasha WOW I Love the W.A.I.T acronym and will now use it!! Thanks for that because I’m a fixer and want to help right out the gate and need to learn to WAIT!!

    • #7690

      Lindsay Weston
      Participant

      Same here Elizabeth. We are creatures of habit, whereas normally we listen for problems only to give advice and tell clients what they should do comes naturally vs. listening to understand where the client is currently in order to guide them to where they want to be. Silence was also a scary thing to me while coaching, however it didn’t seem to be a big deal as the client? I barely even notice any silence because I was either thinking or talking.

       

      I agree Latoya. Having Jesus at the center of the coaching model super important and also reassuring to know that we can respectfully decline any person who wants to use our services for the wrong reasons. No judgement

       

       

       

       

    • #7691

      Paquila Hudson
      Participant

      From this week’s reading I have gathered that listening is very important, however the type of listening that we do will determine the effectiveness of the coaching.  Informal listening comes natural for me.  Even in some of my earlier coaching sessions I found myself paying more attention to the notes that I was taking about the client and focusing more on what’s next than really focusing on what the client was saying.  Active listening allows the coach to focus on the client’s posture, enthusiasm, tone of voice and indications of emotion.  There is more engagement with the client and they feel like they are actually being heard.  Coaches are encouraged to use the unwritten rule of 80/20.  That means that 80% of the time should be spent listening.  This may cause some awkward moments of silence while the coach assesses what they just heard and prepare to give the next relevant question.  Those moments of silence were awkward for me as I practiced them last night but they helped the overall process.

    • #7692

      Paquila Hudson
      Participant

      Replying to Latasha:  Like you I was quite impressed with the rule that a coach should only be talking 80% of the time.  That proved to be so helpful during one of my last coaching call last night but I’ve never heard of W.A.I.T. until now.  That acronym brought me a chuckle.  I will probably have to resist the urge to giggle whenever I think about it during a coaching call, but I think it would help remind me to “shut my mouth” and listen.  Then that would help me to H.E.A.R my client and better engage with them.

    • #7693

      Paquila Hudson
      Participant

      Replying to Lindsay: I also found the story of the business owner very interesting.  I think we may often see blind spots in people but it is usually in people that we know pretty well.  As a coach you don’t have as much time to spend with a person so your listening skills have to be spot on to recognize a blind spot in only a few sessions.  I am sure that good notes would have to be taken for a coach to notice patterns of behavior.  However I find that attentive listening and taking good notes at the right time is quite challenging.

    • #7694

      Lisa
      Participant

      <p class=”MsoNormal”><span style=”font-family: ‘Georgia’,serif; color: #282828; letter-spacing: -.15pt; background: white;”> W</span><span style=”font-family: Georgia, serif; background-image: initial; background-position: initial; background-size: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial;”>HAT I’VE LEARNED THROUGH ROLE PLAY AND MOCK COACHING SESSIONS TO ASSESS CLIENT RELATIONSHIP READINESS.</span></p>
      I’m learning invaluable information daily through this process. In connecting with my “peers”, one of the most important continuous lessons learned is to surround myself with people that fill my gaps mostly known as weaknesses. In this process of role playing and conducting mock sessions the constructive feedback given has been my biggest asset.  I attempt to choose people who will not just give me praises but deliver constructive feedback with the goal to helping me improve. As I further develop my coaching profession, I’m learning that it is essential to identify my weaknesses and actively find people to help me recognize and learn the information and/or techniques required to fill those gaps.

      With one of my external sessions the client provided a more useful way of analyzing the process and that is to consider its purposed and clarify goals with the client and providing more time to allow the client to answer the questions I have asked.  Which falls right in line with this week’s reading assignment identifying listening skills and the impacts.  I learned through these peer sessions to keep my active listening skills “active” and my “intuitive” listening skills on alert which should result in me having better information to ask thought provoking “powerful” or “good” questions.  In my buddy session in practicing the initial contact with a potential client, it provided invaluable feedback on making me aware of NOT trying to problem solve on the initial meeting , the end goal is to get the client to come back so we must leave “some nuggets” for them to come back for.

      With that said my comfort level is still very “uncomfortable” however I am starting to recognize more of my “faults” as I conduct more sessions.  My desire is to totally eliminate theses “self” uncertainties” to become a more effective/impactful coach.

    • #7695

      Lisa
      Participant

      Coach Latoya the Christian Coaching Model was significant to me as well. With not only making point that Christ is the center of this entire process. The biblical stories provided to show each phase of the model provided me greater understanding of how each should be applied.  In some ways I do this daily but now that I’m actually learning about it and finding out the proper way to apply it to help people makes me nervous and in some ways create a little self-doubt in having the capability to effectively apply it, but I know that the devil is the culprit of that self doubt and I will rebuke it in the name of Jesus! 🙂

    • #7696

      Lisa
      Participant

      Latasha in addition to my above comment of loving the WAIT acronym. I recognize that one of my biggest obstacles that I MUST overcome is my “mouth” literally and H.E.A.R my clients.  I naturally just want to jump in and fix the issue/situation because that is what I do in my current job/profession. We listen for information and then step in to resolve, direct or both.  This new endeavor is teaching me invaluable techniques that will excel my overall client/coach relationship and business.

    • #7697

      Elizabeth Howze
      Participant

      REPLYING TO LATASHA: I love the acronym W.A.I.T and I’ll definitely be adding that to my tool box. The buddy coaching calls have really been helping me to become much more comfortable with silence. The 80/20 scenario was intimidating at first but, I’ve been trying to familiarize myself with great, open ended questions that will help the client on their path to discovery.

       

      REPLYING TO LINDSAY: the story of the manager was also intriguing to me as well. So often, we focus externally when looking for solutions when the truth of the matter is: we can become our own worst enemy. This book is challenging me to become more self aware of who I am and who I am becoming. It can be a shocking process, but it is definitely necessary! I can’t ask clients to do work that I’m not willing to do as well.

       

       

    • #7698

      Latasha Lunford
      Participant

      Lisa, I agree with your AHA moment. I too am learning so much in this process. Our buddy coaching sessions have been amazing thus far. Coach D has done an amazing job with assigning us these buddy sessions. I am learning more and more about myself from others perspective. Although, I am not pushy person or outspoken, I know that I can talk a lot when I am passionate about something. So, staying within a certain time period is a challenge that I am working to overcome. I am glad that you helped me to see that we as coaches have to set the boundaries with the time we spend with clients. Time is money.

    • #7699

      Latasha Lunford
      Participant

      Replying to Elizabeth, Paquila, and Lisa… Coach D is the person who introduced the acronym W.A.I.T. to me. Sometimes the best tips and advice doesn’t come from websites or curriculum. Yes, our Christian Coaching book talks about the 80% versus 20% rule. But it is the acronym that will make the rule make sense and most memorable. Also, utilizing the resources that are given to us whether it is an actual life coach or connecting with a coach from our facebook group, it is those little nuggets from experienced coaches that are picked up along the way that will help us most in this profession.

    • #7702

      Latoya Brown
      Participant

      @Coach Latasha I love the Acronym W.A.I.T. i also felt like my sessions with my peers were rushed and not natural. I know for me I am only comfortable with talking with those i know. These practices has allowed me to open up more. I also don’t have a flow i think i wanted to just come out the gates flying.  I was definitely trying to feel in the gaps where there was silence.

    • #7703

      Latoya Brown
      Participant

      @Coach Lind during the buddy sessions and reading I have learned that we don’t see that we get in our own way. I have learned somethings about myself during this process and it has been a huge eye opener. Sometimes our own personalities and even past experience can hinder us from moving forward and even growing in different areas of our lives.

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